In this article, I’ll analyze Shakespeare’s Sonnet 23 for performance. I’ll break down each step of the process down the line.
Dividing the Sonnet
I will start with dividing the sonnet into sentences, to look at the flow of sense and the breathing needed. I find, however, that if I keep to the punctuation of the Arden edition, the first full stop (period) comes in line 13 with the ‘!’. The other closing punctuations are ‘:’ or ‘;’. So, for the speaker, these must be used as a full stop.
Sentences, Thoughts, and Breaths
The idea here is that:
A sentence is a thought.
A thought is a breath.
Therefore: a sentence is a breath.
So, I will divide the sonnet, written as prose for the exercise, into 5 sentences marked by ‘;’ and ‘:’ for breathing.
…
Sonnet 23’s Sentences / Breaths
As an unperfect actor on the stage who with his fear is put beside his part; or some fierce thing replete with too much rage, whose strength’s abundance weakens his own heart;
So I, for fear of trust, forget to say the perfect ceremony of love’s right, and in mine own love’s strength seem to decay o’ercharged with burden of my own love’s might:
O let my books be then my eloquence and dumb presagers of my speaking breast, who plead for love, and look for recompense, more than that tongue that more hath more expressed:
O learn to read what silent love hath writ!
To hear with eyes belongs to love’s fine wit.
Note: We also have the commas within the sentences where breath can be topped up, if needed.
Subordinate Clauses and Phrases
I would like to suggest that, just as commas are on the page for the silent reader, so it is also very helpful for the speaker to re-punctuate these by surrounding the subordinate clauses and phrases with parentheses ‘(…)’. These remind us of the vocal use of subordinate clauses and phrases — those small ‘extra’ word clusters within the main line of sense. Extra information or imagery which could be taken out of the sentence without altering the sense.
Vocally, speak the subordinate clauses (which contain an active verb) and phrases (which do not contain an active verb) with:
- Lower volume
- Less inflection… pitch-change for expression.
- Slightly faster pace.
If you notice your own ordinary speech and that of others, you will see that this ‘rule’ is a natural form of expression for all of us. We add some information or an image to the main sentence, indicating vocally that that phrase is less important.
Subordinate Clause / Phrase Examples:
Opening a Complete Works at random I come across the beginning of Act 111 sc. 4
In The Merchant of Venice:
Lorenzo: Madam (although I speak it in your presence) you have a noble and a true conceit of god-like amity….
And then another random page; Act 111 sc 2:
Hamlet: speak the speech (I pray you) (as I pronounced it to you) trippingly on the tongue; for if you mouth it (as many of your players do) I had as lief the town-crier spoke my lines….
The main sentence remains coherent without the bracketed words, but it is so much better and more natural with them!
Structure and Rhyme Scheme
As well as all this we need to honour the structure and rhyme scheme of the sonnet. The words which end each line are important: stage… part… rage… heart; say… right… decay… might; eloquence… breast… recompense… expressed; writ… wit.
These 14 rhyming key words need to be respected as structure, even when the sense of the thought carries over to the following line; this means a more gentle (but not weak!) entrance to the new line for the octet (8 opening lines) of Sonnet 23, until the big ‘O’ of line 9. This ‘rule’ will also free the speaker from thumping on that strong second syllable of a verse line, a common mistake with the iambic pentameter beat.
The Treasure Hunt
Looking at Shakespeare’s language is a treasure hunt! The closer we search the more richness we find. Remember to look out for words of Time and Place and have fun making a list of any real Objects that are mentioned. In sonnet 23 these are mostly the body and emotions of the Speaker: his fear, his heart, his decaying strength, speaking breast, his speechless tongue, and so on…. and his Books, at last the object outside himself that will solve his problem.
Suggested Breaths in Sonnet 23
Here is my suggestion for ‘vocal’ punctuation of this sonnet with a * for a new breath an ** for an even deeper one:
As an unperfect actor on the stage who with his fear is put beside his part * or some fierce thing replete with too much rage whose strength’s abundance weakens his own heart* so I ( for fear of trust) forget to say the perfect ceremony of love’s right * and in mine own love’s strength seem to decay o’ercharged with burden of mine own love’s might** O let my books be then the eloquence and dumb presagers of my speaking breast * who plead for love (and look for recompense) more than that tongue that more hath more expressed** O learn to read what silent love hath writ to hear with eyes belongs to love’s fine wit.
Of course this is only a suggestion; you will need to use your own easy breath capacity without strain. What the exercise does, however, is prevent the speaker from stopping at the end of every verse line and so chopping up the flow and sense of the message.
When we learn to read, we learn to stop speaking when the print ends in that white space on the right-hand side of the page. This means that when we speak verse we need to overcome that habit and breathe with the thoughts and sense of the text, which means making a conscious effort of understanding.
Inspiration
INSPIRATION is a beautiful concrete/abstract word with a double meaning: it means the physical act taking a breath in and /with the abstract experience of having an idea or a new thought. As we experience a new thought, we take a breath in / at the same moment, even at times when we do not intend to share it out loud. Remember the times that this has happened to you!
Hidden Treasure
Looking at the poem we find repeated words:
- Love/love’s x 6
- Fear x 2
- Strength x 2
- Mine own love’s x 2 with ‘strength’ and ‘might’
And some opposites which balance eachother:
- Perfect/unperfect
- Dumb/speaking
What else can you find?
The Stress of Each Sentence
Stanislavsky suggests that we find ‘the word without which the sentence could not happen’ – the Single Stress of each sentence. The way to do find the single stress is to take the pressure off all the other words. With repeated words the writer takes care to emphasize, so extra stress from the speaker on those words is not necessary. What about the words which appear only once? What happens if you play with that idea of Single Stress?
I like to focus on the nouns in the sentence. Some people prefer the verbs. You definitely need to leave adjectives, adverbs, conjunctions and prepositions alone to do their task without emphasis or high-lighting.
A ‘Translation’
Using the excellent gloss that Katherine Duncan Jones gives us in the Arden edition of the Sonnets, I will attempt a ‘translation’ of no 23, with references to the imagery that Shakespeare uses. [I put my additional glosses in square brackets]
Like an actor who has not learned his lines and is so scared that he forgets words and loses his mastery of the role he is playing; or, like a savage wild thing… an animal or a person… who is so fiercely full of passion that the force of heart-felt emotion makes him collapse: I am not able to trust myself [or cope with the responsible position of trust that I am in] and I am unable to say the perfect words that are required for the ritual of love. I am burdened, weighed-down, with the charge of this responsibility and the strength of my love for you.
O please allow my books, my writings [and possibly the ‘book’ used in the theatre to prompt actors who don’t know their lines] to speak for me; my writings are the silent indicators of the words of love that fill my heart: they [my writing, the words of this poem] silently plead for your love and hope to be paid with it, even more; [my written words are even more powerful and hope for even more ‘recompense’ of love from you] than if I were able to speak many more words of love to you; [the idea is that if I were able to speak then my love would be less deep and true than now, when I am silenced by the force of my passion]
O please understand what I am writing to you (because I am too fearful to speak my love): the perfect wisdom of [blind] love will enable you to ‘hear’ my silent words.
Shakespeare is using the familiar situation of the ‘unperfect’ actor suffering from stage-fright and ‘drying’ in performance, as an image of the speaker’s inability to express his love in speech;
He then uses the image of ‘some fierce thing’… maybe a beast or a passionate human being… so overcome with emotion that he is physically almost destroyed by it. So in the first 4 lines he has set up an urgent crisis of strong negative feelings, which seem to make any constructive action impossible.
In line 5 the speaker explains his inability to express his love in speech. In line 6 he uses two religious words: ‘ceremony’ and ‘rite’ (which I prefer to the word ‘right’ in this context), emphasising the spiritual importance of Love, which, he says, is so huge and powerful that it overwhelms him.
As usual with the sonnet form, line 9 is the ‘volta’ — the jump or spring which is in the contemporary dance of that name. Here this begins with the big outgoing breath or sigh of the ‘O.’ the solution to the speaker’s crisis of dumbness is to plead for his beloved to read his writings (so the word ‘books’ here must be the Single Stress of this sentence, I think). And immediately we ‘hear’ the sound of speech: ‘eloquence’; ‘speaking’, ‘pleading’ (as in a legal court) and actively asking for ‘recompense’ as a result of the heard petition: the Speaker says that the written words have even more power than if they were spoken aloud.
The final couplet begins with another big ‘O’: the request that the beloved will believe the silent message of love written in Shakespeare’s books.
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